Love Is Louder

Author:Antoinette Candela & Paige Maroney [Candela, Antoinette & Maroney, Paige]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Antoinette Candela Publications
Published: 2015-03-14T00:00:00+00:00

By the time Friday finally comes around, I need a stress reliever instead of yoga, thinking a glass of wine by the pool sounds perfect right now. The week at the photo studio was a blur. I couldn’t focus, but I was forced to. Each time I put my eye to the lens I kept seeing James with her.

I head back to my darkened office, settle down behind my chair, and switch on my small desk lamp. I boot up my computer and respond to some emails, proceeding to pay the rent and utilities on the studio for the upcoming month and also scheduling a meeting with my landlord to discuss purchasing the space.

Typically, I don’t spend much time on the computer, but with it staring at me and with nothing pressing to do, I type “James Fleming” into the search engine. The only time I have searched my husband’s name is when he’s had a high-profiled case to defend. At this very moment, I’m unsure why I decide to do it. Boredom? Fear? Jealousy?

Several links fill the screen, and I click on each one. They detail his academic career and recognitions at Harvard, his career at Hill and Boylston, LLP, as their top prosecuting attorney, and his move here. I continue to read about his accomplishments in Massapequa Park and click onto the county website where his name appears and numerous images of him grace the screen with a variety of local political officials and his staff.

The majority of which are women, accomplished and successful attorneys themselves. Clearly, some beautiful and intelligent women surround my husband. Without pondering too much, I recline back in my chair, pull my hair out of my chignon, slip off my heels, and close my eyes for the first time all day when my phone rings. I reach for it and see James’ face flash across the screen, a welcome distraction. James always is, no matter what.

“Hey, hon,” I answer, leaning forward in my chair. I have kept my conversations with James as normal as possible. Sometimes I feel like the normalcy of our lives is driving him away and driving me insane.

“How’s my wife?”

“Fine. I just finished a few things, and I’m thinking of heading home. What about you?”

“A new custody case was thrown onto my desk. I need to hang around for a couple of hours.”

“On a Friday?” I pick up our wedding photo that sits on the corner of my desk. I trace my husband’s lips with my finger, wondering if someone else has tasted them since we’ve said our vows. The thought enrages me. Unbeknownst to him, I’ve seen things. There’s something disturbing about recalling a warm memory and feeling utterly cold. This is what I hate about myself. When I’m alone, I let my mind run uninhibited, and it drives me to the brink of wanting to do things and say things that would make me sound crazy. I can’t prove any of it.

“I tried to get out of it, but some of the partners want to go over some points.

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